I want to thank all the kind souls who have taken the time to write and express their condolences about losing Jezebel. The kindness and understanding so many have expressed have brought me to tears with each note. At the same time, the recognition by each of you that Jezebel was a member of the family and loved as such is so appreciated.
We have been running through the emotions at breakneck speed. On the day we lost her, Husband just wanted time to reverse so he could go back and get his dog. Of course that is irrational but even though I recognized that at the time, three days later, I am feeling the same way.
I just want my girl back. I just want her back.
Samoyeds are categorized as "working" dogs. They are happiest when they have a job. When my mother was dying, last year, and Jezebel appointed herself in charge of mom, it dawned on me that she'd found her nitch. Jezebel was thrilled to have a job and she was good at it.
When we lost our old girl, Sapphire, last Christmas, Jezebel went through a blue period. When she emerged from her funk and discovered she was Alpha, she entered the happiest time of her life. She had a job. Now that Jezebel is gone, we can appreciate that she ran EVERYTHING. She told us when to get up, when to go to bed, what floor of the house we needed to be on. She decided when the back door needed to be open. She let us know when dinner was due.
She didn't always get what she wanted but she felt it was her god given RESPONSIBILITY to let us know how things needed to proceed.
And she loved it. And we are lost without her constant reminders.
Evelyn is not doing well, at all. She won't eat. She keeps looking for her sister. She lays out of the back deck and stares into space. She has even been limping. It has helped that my kids brought their dog, Martin, with them.
It has helped that my kids understand what Jezebel meant to us. One of my girls even brought champagne for Thanksgiving so we could throw a wake. Without them, the past few days would have been even worse for me.
I contacted Evelyn's breeder to see if she knows of any litters coming up. She'll ask around.
We asked them to go ahead and send off the biopsy to get a pathology report. At least we will get some answers but I doubt they will be much comfort.
All that being said, I am so thankful for my husband, my children and the relatively short period of time we had Jezebel to brighten our lives.
I know this post is a little disjointed. I can't write anymore, today. But thank you, again.