God Speed, Jezebel

We lost our girl. The damage to her heart and brain were too much for her to fight through. They worked diligently to keep her temperature down but it kept going back up to over 106. Her breathing became more and more labored and her blood pressure continued to spike. Her heart rate hovered at around 195 - 200 and they couldn't get it down. No matter what they tried, her oxygen levels wouldn't rise to sustainable levels. She never regained consciousness. We let her go about 3:45 this morning.

The raw pain we are feeling is familiar to some. The sense of loss is overwhelming. We got Jezebel right after we married and I'd moved away from home and from my family. Most of the love and energy that used to be spread out among a number of people was showered into her and it is going to take time to stitch myself back together. Jezebel was our little girl and to a certain extent, the marriage was built around her, odd as that sounds. Husband and I are feeling a grief similar to losing a child. I expect we will go through similar emotions and challenges that all parents go through when a child is taken from them. Jezebel just understood everything. Husband is devastated. I'm devastated.

I've taken a zillion pictures of her and not one of them is in my mind. My images of her are vivid and moving and full of life and sweetness and spunk. The still pictures I've taken of her don't come close to doing justice to the pure love that she exuded. She was a natural therapy dog - she always seems to know what we felt and how to help us through it. At this moment in time, I can't imagine being without her. I have no choice but I can't even conceptualize it.

We are worried sick about Evelyn who has never been alone and adored Jezebel. They were very close. She has kept me sane, this morning.

I can't do a tribute to my girl. At least not right now. But I thank everyone for their prayers and good wishes.