"On the plains of Oklahoma, with a windshield sunset in your eyes like a watercolor painted sky, you'd think heavens doors have opened."
Fly Over States



Wednesday, November 26, 2008

God Speed, Jezebel

We lost our girl. The damage to her heart and brain were too much for her to fight through. They worked diligently to keep her temperature down but it kept going back up to over 106. Her breathing became more and more labored and her blood pressure continued to spike. Her heart rate hovered at around 195 - 200 and they couldn't get it down. No matter what they tried, her oxygen levels wouldn't rise to sustainable levels. She never regained consciousness. We let her go about 3:45 this morning.

The raw pain we are feeling is familiar to some. The sense of loss is overwhelming. We got Jezebel right after we married and I'd moved away from home and from my family. Most of the love and energy that used to be spread out among a number of people was showered into her and it is going to take time to stitch myself back together. Jezebel was our little girl and to a certain extent, the marriage was built around her, odd as that sounds. Husband and I are feeling a grief similar to losing a child. I expect we will go through similar emotions and challenges that all parents go through when a child is taken from them. Jezebel just understood everything. Husband is devastated. I'm devastated.

I've taken a zillion pictures of her and not one of them is in my mind. My images of her are vivid and moving and full of life and sweetness and spunk. The still pictures I've taken of her don't come close to doing justice to the pure love that she exuded. She was a natural therapy dog - she always seems to know what we felt and how to help us through it. At this moment in time, I can't imagine being without her. I have no choice but I can't even conceptualize it.

We are worried sick about Evelyn who has never been alone and adored Jezebel. They were very close. She has kept me sane, this morning.

I can't do a tribute to my girl. At least not right now. But I thank everyone for their prayers and good wishes.

42 comments:

ranette said...

I am so sorry and I pray that the Lord comforts and consoles you and your husband.

Paula said...

I'm typing through all the tears. I know Jezebel will be missed. She brought so much love to your family. And so many of us became attached to her through your blog. May God comfort you all, and give Evelyn a hug for all of us.

Paula

terificreations said...

I'm sorry.

Teri

Holee said...

Dear Sweet Jezebel

I can't say more right now. I've come to know her and it's just heart breaking.

The loss will be so hard for Evelyn. I don't want this to sound cold but thinking of her and knowing she doesn't understand as we do, maybe the sooner she has a puppy to look after, the better for her.

You all will be in my thoughts this holiday.

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart!

Buddy was glad to meet Jezebel this morning in Doggy Heaven and he'll show her around the place for you.

sassy needlepusher

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Penny. I'm glad you had last night with her.

I know how you feel, we lost our dear cat Lucy last year, about this time. She was our child just like Jezebel was yours. It does get better, and sometimes I think she hasn't gone very far at all.

Give Evelyn a hug for me...now I'm going to have a good cry.

Janet

jacquie said...

oh penny i'm so sorry. please know that i have loved seeing and getting to know her through your words and pictures. i pray you will find some comfort in the wonderful life she had with you and your family. take care.

Stephanie D. said...

I am so sorry. I could hardly tell my husband because of the tears. We lost Libby, our empty nest dog, less than 2 years ago after raising her from 8 weeks to 11+ years, and we are all too familiar with the grief. I feel it all over again, reading your words.

I'm glad you still have Evelyn.

Anonymous said...

Penny - There are no words. I'm so sorry. There are tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry.

jbk65 from HGTV msg bd

jessicasews said...

Penny...I'm so sorry.

I don't know how to explain the connection we've had reading about the beautiful dogs through the blog - maybe it's the way the dogs behave and they are easy to "read" - maybe it's your gift of photography and writing.....but, I feel like I could hear them singing (their howls!)!
Thank Heavens for your blog - it's a beautiful collection of photos of Jezebel.
Hug Evelyn for us - And, feel our caring arms around you.

~ Jes

Linda said...

I'm so sorry. Take care of yourselves.
Lurking Linda

Anonymous said...

Penny,

I am so very sorry for you and your husband. My thoughts are with you guys and with Evelyn too.

Jane_Kiwi (HGTV)

everythingquilts said...

Penny, I just don't know what to say, I'm so sorry.

Lisa said...

Penny I'm so sorry I know how much she meant to you...

Lisa

Paula Platoff-Clark said...

Penny and Mark, I am so so sorry for your loss. I've followed Jezebel's story on the Samsmiles Yahoo group and have been keeping her - and you and Evelyn - in my prayers. Her gallant struggle touched my heart.

This horrible, unexpected loss is so sad! I hope that your memories of sweet Jezebel will bring you comfort.

Know that you three are surrounded with love and care! Give Evelyn cuddles, and take good care of yourselves.

Gentle hugs,

Paula Platoff (Momcat to three Maine Coon cats, stepmom to two Border Collies, and someday mom to a Sammy)

jeri said...

I'm so sorry. It's never easy to lose your best friend. Take care of yourselves and Evelyn, too.

Chocolate Cat said...

Sending you lots of hugs. I know exactly how you are feeling, we lost Jess a few weeks ago and the pain is still there. Lets hope her and Jezebel are running together painfree. Hold on to all those special memories and in time you will remember without the tears.

Infinity Quilter said...

I am so so, sorry Penny. I knowing what you're going through and my heart just aches for you, Evelyn and hubby. (People at work are wondering why I'm crying.) The boys and I are sending you a huge virtual hug! I'm sure Sapphire and Wes are taking great care of Jezebel at the Rainbow Bridge.

South Jersey Quilter said...

Oh, Jeez, I'm so sorry for you all. I've been following the saga, and had a bad feeling the other day. My heart breaks for you and I'm crying along with you.

Holly

Pam said...

Penny, sending my family's love and heartfelt condolences to you and your husband and to your sweet Evelyn.
I was amazed and inspired by your story of how Jezebel came back to life to say goodbye to you, and the peace that you described. It is a testament to the transcedent bond that you shared. Thank you for sharing the joys of her life with all of us through your blog, please know that we share your sorrow.
May peace continue to be with you.
Pam

elsie123 said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Just from all your postings, I know you loved her very much. Hold your memories close.

Kathy said...

I enjoyed reading about Jezebel and Evelyn. I am so sorry for your loss. It is like losing a piece of yourself. Keep Evelyn close to your side to comfort each other.

Anonymous said...

She will deeply be missed by us all.

Again, so so sorry,

MAR

Sewbaby said...

I am so sorry for your family's grief. Jezebel will be missed by all of us....thanks so much for sharing your family with us.

Hugs and Blessings,

Traci

Denise Felton said...

I am deeply, truly sorry. I read your blog faithfully from the lurkdom, and I've watched Jez's struggle and your courage over this long time. My heart aches for you.

*surrounding your whole household with loving vibrations*
Denise

Sherry said...

Oh...

tisme said...

Oh Penny I am so sorry!! I know how much you loved her. You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

I am heartbroken for you all. We lost a dog during surgery several years ago. It is very shocking, i know. Thoughts and prayers with you.
-karol

Nancy said...

Penny, I'm very sorry. I know how difficult this will be. Obviously Jezebel did all she could to return to you. You will always have your memories. My sympathy to you, your husband and Evelyn.

michelescottage said...

Pennt, I am so sorry.

michelescottage said...

Oops, Penny, Sorry about the typo.

Anonymous said...

So sad.
I am so sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

Penny, I am so sorry. I know the pain you are in as we lost one of ours in Jan. We will keep you and your husband in our prayers.

~Charlene~

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Diana said...

Penny, I'm so very sorry. My heart is breaking for you, your husband, and Evelyn. My prayers are with you all.

Shasta said...

I am so sorry for your loss Penny.

Liz said...

So sorry for your loss. We will miss her.

Liz

Owens Family Adventures said...

I am so sorry. My friend, the thoughts and the prayers of my family are with you today. Truly.
dawn

Evelyn aka Starfishy said...

Penny, I am sorry that you lost such a loved member of your family and the loss and pain you all must feel right now. You gave it your all and fought the good fight with Jezebel - all dogs should be so lucky to have such diligent owners that love them as much as you and your DH loved Jez. Blogland grieves alongside of you, as we all came to love Jez through your blog.

Sherry said...

I am so very sorry to hear about Jezebel. I've come to know her through your blog & always looked for you to mention her.

My heart goes out to your, your husband & Evelyn.

Nancy said...

Penny, you and your husband have my family's deepest sympathy. We've been where you are; it hurts more than we think possible. Be strong for each other and be patient with Evelyn...she'll need you more than ever now. Thank you for sharing the stories of "your girls" with us...I feel like I know them, and am wiping the tears from my own face this morning.
Hugs,
Nancy

Catherine said...

I am so sorry. It's so incredibly difficult.