Long, Grim and No Pictures

I choose to be a guardian ad litem (sometimes referred to as a GAL) because I do not like the ambiguities that come with being a hired gun. When you are a guardian ad litem for children, you are free to exercise your best judgment in advocating what is in the child’s best interests. Sometimes, you make mistakes that break your heart. But it is an honest heartbreak and if you are careful and diligent, you can sleep at night because you did your best.

In my state, some counties primarily rely on a court calendar in which they select the “GAL of the day” for most of the cases that come up. The obvious value of that for guardians ad litem is that you know what days you need to be available in case a case comes in. You might get an abused child, a custody case, an incarcerated parent or a young delinquent.

Other counties don’t rely on a calendar – they just try to match up a particular case with a guardian ad litem that they think will be a good fit (or a warm body on easy cases). Some people “specialize” in very young children, or delinquent boys, or abused girls, or custody cases, or mental health cases, etc. We don’t formally “specialize” but the judges tend to send certain cases to certain individuals they see as being a good fit.

Being a guardian ad litem for an incarcerated adult is different than being a guardian ad litem for a child. I find it to be more legalistic and frequently amounts to passing on information and making sure the court knows the preferences of the parent. For example, an incarcerated mother who can’t be in court when her mother comes seeking custody of a grandchild can let the court know through her GAL that she supports (or doesn’t support) the placement. The most immediate problem with an incarcerated adult is simply that they can’t be there to provide for a child.

I am debating whether to post the following. I may end up deleting it.

I recently was appointed GAL for an incarcerated parent when I was GAL of the day. The parent gave birth and the hospital detected PCP in her blood and in the blood of her child. She promptly gave the child to a couple who were “family friends” who she didn’t know but had heard were nice and couldn’t have children of there own. Social Services did not bring charges. She definitely wanted this couple to only have temporary custody and planned to seek return of the child as soon as she got out of jail (her detained status was the reason I was appointed in the first place). The parent was facing strong arm robbery charges. She didn’t know who the father was. If convicted, she was looking at many years behind bars. In the meantime, the couple filed for custody of the baby. That is why we were going to court.

Now, I am usually a guardian ad litem for children. The notion of handing off a baby to what amounts to total strangers makes me want to scream. They may be lovely people but you just don’t know. At the same time, my ward, the parent, definitely wanted them to care for her child while she was in jail. I felt a surge of angst coming on – angst that I generally avoid by focusing on children, rather than adults. But there you go.

I told myself that the child probably also had her OWN guardian ad litem whose job it would be to protect her best interests. I told myself that the court would likely order a criminal background and Child Protective Services history of the couple. If the child had her own GAL, surely the GAL would insist upon that. I told myself, correctly, that my job was to protect MY ward – not the child.

The couple arrived late. The baby was tiny. They looked nice. The baby had no guardian ad litem of her own. Dammit. I declined to cross examine the couple (my client WANTED them and I was afraid that if I asked rudimentary questions, the judge would decide they weren’t fit custodians). That may have backfired. The Judge knows me. He has seen me practice. There were so many unanswered questions that I wasn’t asking that I (in hindsight) suspect he was picking up on something going on with me. Should I ask a few questions for the sake of appearances? No. The parent knew nothing about these people. Who knows what they would say! I KNEW she didn’t know them. Maybe the Judge wouldn’t figure that out. Maybe he would figure it out without me.

The Judge took over. He asked the couple about criminal charges. After much hemming and hawing, the husband admitted to a DUI three years ago, and a domestic battery (against his wife) two years ago. He said it was "just" a domestic thing and they had it all worked out. He was finished with all the court requirements. That is all, he insisted. Inside I am thinking – “GET THAT CHILD A GUARDIAN AD LITEM. THIS GUY IS A VIOLENT DRUNK!!” Outside, I am calmly not making eye contact with the Judge lest he see into my soul.

At the appropriate time, I straightened my papers and blandly informed the Judge that my client only wanted to give “temporary” custody. I confess it was, in part, bait. In part, I suspected that the wife had her heart set on keeping that sweet baby forever. I don’t blame her. I can only imagine how a childless couple would pine for a little baby of their own. I felt a little mean. I also knew I was on solid ground. The parent was VERY adamant about this. The Court needed to know this. The Judge tried to make eye contact with me because he knows me. I make sheepish eye contact with him to keep him from smelling a rat.

The wife saves my soul. Maybe. She explodes that the mother lied because she had promised that she was giving the child to her, permanently. “Not what she told me,” I say gently (praying please god, let this thing go to hell in a hand basket and let me still do a good job for my client and please try to save that baby without help from me). The wife gets more agitated. It is not pretty. The father looks like he wants to throw up. I know he is worried about his wife and wants her to have that baby. My heart goes out to them. I am worried sick about that baby. I have a responsibility to my adult ward. I'm in an emotional blender and trying not to show it.

Social Services stood up and announced that they don’t get involved in civil cases that amount to an agreement between private parties.

No help there.

The judge looked quietly at the couple. “You aren’t related to this child?”

“No.”

"How well did you know her before she gave you the child?"

"We didn't know her."

[There! It's out! He knows! I wonder if my body is expressing relief. I try not to draw attention to myself by relaxing or moving. I have to remember to breathe.]

Long pause by the Judge.

“You’re sure you don’t have any other criminal offenses?”

“No more.”

He looked at me, I looked away. I looked back because he KNOWS I am worried and I am trying to play my role. I gamely reply that my client really wanted this couple to have the child. In my heart of heart, I confess - I hoped my comment would remind him that the mother took PCP while pregnant, is facing strong arm robbery charges -and handed off her baby to total strangers. Her judgment stinks.

He gently sighed. There is silence. He announced that he is granting them temporary custody, appointing a guardian ad litem for the child and ordering a home study.

I did not kiss him.

I looked down at the table and have a moment of silent thanks to my god and that judge. My soul felt soiled. How do people do this day in and day out? I might have felt worse if I’d sold out my client, which I didn’t. I walked out of there feeling like the child was adequately, if minimally protected. My ward got what she wanted -a temporary custody order. Maybe she would be out of jail before the question of final custody came up.

Wish I could stick to representing kids. I wonder if I could have walked out of that courtroom without making sure the child had her own guardian ad litem and a home study with a background check. I don’t know. Will never know. I didn’t have to make that choice. We attorneys who work in family court rely on the judges to see past our words and our arguments and focus on the children. I couldn’t do this job if I didn’t trust the judges to get it right 99% of the time.

And this is a very good judge.

Fast forward to three hours later for the rest of the story (or at least the next chapter):

The social services attorney flagged me down in the hall. He was beside himself with excitement. “You see EVERYTHING in this job! Remember that case this morning? Well, turns out that all the time, the wife had filed ANOTHER protective order against the husband and it came to court TODAY!!! She says he beat her up, again! The last time he did that, it was assault with a deadly weapon when he went after her with a knife! [recall that he testified earlier that day that it was "just" a domestic thing]. The courtroom deputy recognized the couple and tipped off the Judge. The Judge [the same judge] was provided the husband’s rap sheet that went on for pages. The Judge went down the list and reminded the husband on each charge that THIS MORNING, he’d sworn under oath that his only charges were a DUI and a domestic assault.”

Social Services took the baby.

I feel so relieved and so dirty. I might feel worse if I had sold my client up the river. Dunno. I think I will have to answer to god on that one, someday.

Forgive me while I have TWO glasses of wine, tonight.