Ugly Duckling and Swan

This has been a long day – lots of waiting to not get a whole lot done. However, the day started out well. My hair actually cooperated and I decided to wear my red suit. I like the suit because the jacket is long and covers my hips. Since this is my birthday week and my darling neighbor is a brownie maker, I have been downing them like there is no tomorrow – which at my age is a distinct possibility. The suit covering the hips made me feel a little less grotesque, although I suspect it really just makes me look sort of Hillaryish.

After a long, drawn out morning in the circuit court followed by a mad scramble to drive to the next county for the 1:30 docket, we waited some more. I was guardian ad litem in a social services case and amused myself by watching the father argue with his court appointed attorney. Off to my left, the court appointed attorney was trying to make the father understand that the court was not going to return custody to him when he has an outstanding protective order against him arising from another situation that just happened a couple of months ago. It seems the child's step mother had attacked him with a teapot, things went south and the police were called. “I thought you were on my side!!!!!,” the dad exclaimed.

"YOU AREN'T ALLOWED IN YOUR HOME - HOW CAN THEY SEND THE CHILD TO LIVE THERE!!!??," demanded his exasperated attorney.

And off to my right, the mother, an utterly gorgeous East African mother of six was shouting that the social worker was fat. She was calling her something that I THINK was a tribal slur (I think she was calling her a member of a lower caste african group).

Behind the mother, the child was tending to her younger four siblings.

Directly in front of me, the mother’s attorney was trying to convince me that it was a good idea for the child to return home because the mother had done everything they’d asked her to do (besides stomping out of the psychiatrist’s office in a rage and refusing to participate in counseling). I just cocked an eyebrow at mom's attorney and said nothing.

The child was not returned home to her parents.

As we left the courthouse, the mother continued to harangue the social worker who whisked the child (and herself) out of the building. I hung back to try to pour oil on troubled waters and persuade the parents to do what they need to do so that the child can return home. The mother abruptly changed the subject - “How old do you think I am? Just tell me, how old do I look???? I’m not fat like that stupid social worker!”

Well, no, she is not. In fact, it is amazing that she has had ONE child, much less six. She has the body of a twenty year old who works out and there is not one sign that gravity has been interfering in her life. But what a question!

I knew she has a fifteen year old so I shaved a couple of years and guessed, “Thirty.” She beamed. “THIRTY-SIX!! – About the same as you, yes?”

I beamed. “Fifty, this week.”

“NO!!,” she shouted, “NO!!!!! I have NEVER seen a fifty year old white woman look so young! Such skin!!"(try to keep in mind that cultural differences might make her less likely to choose her words carefully). She called over her ex husband and told him how old I am.

“NO!!, he shouted, “You must be living a good life!”

Hard to believe these people are nuts, actually.

So I floated on home. I hadn’t had time to change when husband got home from work. I sashayed in, feeling young and gorgeous. I kid you not, the first words out of his mouth were, “Wow! You look like you are wearing a band uniform!”
…

On the HGTV message board, we had an ugly duckling swap. The rules of the swap are that we exchanged a half yard of ugly fabric and the recipient added their own fabric to try to turn it into a swan.

Now, some ladies sent out fabric that was actually quite pretty. Being a literal person, I did not. Here is a picture of my ugly duckling fabric.



This stuff is butt ugly and I can’t believe I actually paid something for it. All I can think is that it must have been very cheap.

So here it is on the Gammill after fabric was added to make her look pretty.

I decided to use this to quilt my very first real (not practice) quilt.

And here it is after it came off the Gammill but before the binding.


I am not sure what I am going to do with it – perhaps I will use it as a sewing machine cover. The lady who pieced it did a terrific job.