"On the plains of Oklahoma, with a windshield sunset in your eyes like a watercolor painted sky, you'd think heavens doors have opened."
Fly Over States

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I Love Laminators

Husband was off on vacation, last week.  Yesterday, he started back to work so I hauled myself out of bed when he did so he wouldn't notice I don't have a regular job. Or even an abnormal job.  I am not absolutely sure he is yet clued in to the fact that I have become deadwood.  I figure moving around a lot or keeping out of the house is my best bet that he won't discover this.  It also serves as Plan B because even if he notices, we can avoid a conversation about it.  Some things call for a deft hand but a hamfisted approach is sometimes all you've got.  And since most men don't like to have conversations about unpleasant things, I have that going for me. 

Plan C is the bad economy. 

I am always glad when I get up early (translation, before 6:00 a.m.  Anything after 6:30 a.m. is deemed "late").  Look at this pretty sunrise:

Back to my job angst.  I realize things could get hairy pretty soon because Husband (the engineer) rarely misses an opportunity to grumble that artists are just ridiculous. He started this artist thing long before I started wearing hippy skirts so I don't take it personally.  (Hippy skirts are called that because of my HUGE hips that could be spotted with a cheap Wal Mart telescope from outer space.  They look like another continent.)  Generally, I just chime in and agree with Husband about ridiculous artists.  I hope this is throwing him off the scent.  He says he doesn't read my blog because blogs are "also ridiculous" and given what I just wrote, I sure hope the man is telling me the truth. 

Just in case:

"Hi Sweetie, I love you!  Thank you for giving me a dream life!  Few men are that generous or as good providers.  And I really love your hair!"

All the above is true.

At any rate, in my effort to be out from underfoot or available for uncomfortable conversations, I ran errands, yesterday.  First, I checked out a local upholstery place that I heard had cheap Hobbs Heirloom 80/20.  It is right around the corner from my house and OMG - it was a GOOD tip!!  I wanted bleached cotton and they didn't have it in the queen sized bolt so for ten more dollars, I got the king sized bolt.  I'll have to trim it down for my machine but can use the scraps for smaller projects.  It is as big as my butt.  I put it in the studio and hauling it from the car to the longarm room constituted my daily exercise. 

From there, I drove over to a national chain copy place (which shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) to ask them how much it would cost to laminate the 75 or so patterns I had with me  (not an exaggeration).  I told the young girl that I might not be able to afford to do very many.  She looked at me with pity and told me it was $3.75 a piece and, after measuring one with a tape measure, they'd have to cut off about half an inch.  "Okay, then," sez I,  "I guess I better rethink my plans."  She leaned forward across the counter, dropped her voice and said, "Don't tell anyone I told you this but if you take it to Mardels (a Christian office supply company for all you heathens), they have a teacher supply room with a laminator that costs .25 a foot."  Oh holy Mary Mother of God!  (I can say that because I am not Catholic and it is way down the list of my sins, anyway).  The darling girl even gave me directions and I scooted over there, right away.

Check out my 29 feet worth of laminated patterns!!  Cost me less than $8.00 with tax, baby!

It is a really bright day, today:
Okay, so Mardels is now way up on my list of wonderful places.

Because I had saved so much money on laminating, I decided to buy some makeup brushes from Sally's Beauty Supply, which was next door.  Ahem, they were at least $7.50 a piece so I decided I could just spend the same amount on liposuction and left.

Next stop, Hancocks.  I bought NUTHIN'.   I was quite proud of myself.

Finally, I went to the Promised Land, Hobby Lobby (which, BTW, also owns Mardels).  I went on a spending frenzy.  Their colored pencils (including prismacolor) were all 30% off so I bought a set of 48 and several singles. I also bought two water soluble quilt marking pens (also 30% off). I would have bought more but that is all they had.

I bought fall flowers to shove into my family's headstone vases (Husband later pointed out I already had some).  I also bought summer/fall flowers for the den: 

Afterwards, I worked on my computer.  I have had issues with my keyboard.  The letters keep wearing off.  I have painted them back on, glued foam letters like you get for children's crafts and lately have taped on letters that I wrote with permanent marker:

After researching, I discovered I could replace the letters for $6.00 a piece plus postage.  Following online directions, I tried to take off a key to see how to do it (NOT one that was worn off because I am an idiot).  It broke.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  I decided to just bite the bullet and order a new keyboard.  I found several online for $29.00 plus postage but decided to check the Dell site to make sure I had the right one.  Duh.  Dell's tech found me the right one for $10.99 and helped me to get my DVD player to work.  Mr. Dell Tech has a Japanese Spitz named Leonne.  Nice man.  We both agree that dogs domesticated man, not the other way around.  I gave him my blogsite and left a nice comment on the website for his supervisor. 

After all that, I drove to the north of town to meet Mimi to go shopping for luggage and dinner.  My happy, happy, happy news about Mimi is that the doctor that she thought was an idiot has changed her original diagnosis from a dilated cardiomyopathy to something else I can't pronounce, much less spell.  The bottom line is that instead of dead heart tissue and a bleak prognosis, her heart was "just" infected, which caused it to swell.  She has healed, her heart is back to normal size and she is just about back to where she needs to be.  Hallelujah!  I cannot tell you happy I am about that.   Of course, this just means Mimi was right all along and will be insufferable if she ever really gets sick.  Her tombstone will probably read Mimi...1958 - 2075.  I AM NOT SICK!  She'll probably die from a tsunami.

We knocked around a Super Target and I bought a new vase I don't need and then three racerback bras because I've been wearing sleeveless blouses and want to stop flashing bra straps.  I debated actually buying the correct size (which is larger than I used to wear) but decided that would be giving in to obesity.  Next time, I will just go to Anderson's Tent and Awning and save myself the temptation.  I kept calling the bras razerbacks (without meaning to) and I think that may have been a Freudian slip. 

We trucked over to Victoria's Secrets but although I tried to talk Mimi into buying a nice thong, she refused.  What a wild woman.  I didn't buy anything, either.  I used to buy from there because they had all the nice stuff.  Target is going to put them out of business.  It is the Wal Mart of fine lingerie.

We ate dinner and gobbled Mexican food like a couple of pigs. I was like a tortilla sink hole (I got that line from Husband in the course of a debate about whether a Samoyed blowing her coat is more like a hair tsunami or a hair earthquake - he claims it is more like a hair earthquake because a tsunami is over in seconds but that just doesn't make any sense because it isn't like an earthquake lasts for weeks.  He was just being contrary.).  Since Mimi and I have been eating Mexican food together since we were eleven, being gluttons came naturally.  That being said, I have not had a bite of food to eat, today (it is about 5:30 p.m.) because I am still full.  The thought of eating makes me want to hurl.  And that would be a tortilla tsunami.

The only artsy thing I did today was take a few photos.  Here are the girls:

That Pearl is a cutie.

Evelyn's chair is filthy but you have to remember it is a dog bed - not a chair.  It just looks like a chair because it started out its life as one. 

I also took a photo of my African Violet.  
I have always had good luck with African Violets. My old boss once asked me my secret and I told him dappled light and coffee. I would pour my coffee out when I was done instead of giving it water.  A few weeks later, I noticed his plants were all dying. Then I watched him pour steaming hot coffee on them and almost had a heart attack.

He's a judge, now. 

And here are some photos of our tomato plants that are FINALLY starting to get serious. 

I need  to go put on my contacts and clean my sewing room.  Enough sitting on my butt for the day. 

Happy Quilting, Penny, Evelyn and Pearl


Anonymous said...

I loved every word of this. Tell your husband you can't work because you need to keep up your blog.


Miriam said...

A great post! :)

I am very happy that Mimi is much better.

Florida Farm Girl said...

If I thought I could get photos like that I might consider getting up at those ungodly hours. But, I'll have to think about it long and hard!! Preferably while still in bed! :)

LindaWI said...

It is so fun to come here and read your blog. I'm so happy your dear friend Mimi is going to be fine. Thanks for sharing with us.

Anonymous said...

I love your writing, and photos, and dogs and everthing...
Don't feel guilty about not 'working'. Enjoy the day.

I was shocked when you recounted how your other court work presented some possible danger to your being. And remember the tension and despair that came with your cases.

Wonderful news on Mimi. Keep on writing - I so enjoy it.

Nancy Klatt said...

As far as I'm concerned Penny, you have a full time job, writing this blog. You made me laugh with the tent & awning store comment. Especially after the menopause entry a few days ago. I love that I'm not going thru all that alone. And that you make it all sound funny (as opposed to absurd). Glad to hear your friend is doing so well. Sometimes doctors take awhile to get it right.

Paula said...

You crack me up! Whatever the subject matter, your posts are always entertaining. You're an awesome writer and I look forward to your first book...no matter how far down the road that might be. And of course, I'll want it autographed.
So glad to hear Mimi's good news.


Anonymous said...

You are a hoot! I love coming on here and reading. I pretend like we are neighbors! How pitiful am I???

keebler1962@gmail.com said...

I loved your post. Please make sure your DH never finds out you don't really have a "real job" We would hate it if you couldnt spend time entertaining us.

keebler1962@gmail.com said...

I loved your post. Please make sure your DH never finds out you don't really have a "real job" We would hate it if you couldnt spend time entertaining us.