"On the plains of Oklahoma, with a windshield sunset in your eyes like a watercolor painted sky, you'd think heavens doors have opened."
Fly Over States

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Promises Never Made

Happy Easter to my Christian friends and welcome back, Persephone for all you pagans.   I took the first picture (above), this morning. 

I like the way Easter is scheduled - the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox.  Here is a picture of the recent full moon:

I think you would have had  to be  there to really appreciate how pretty it was.

It has been a few days since I posted.  Husband was out of town all week and that meant extra chores just to keep up. I had a birthday which, at my advanced years, is always cause for celebration and wonder (thanks to husband and children for the gorgeous flowers!).  And a very dear friend unexpectedly passed away at the young age of 42.   With all that going on, I haven’t been much in the mood to write.

My friend left behind a wife he loved and their four children. Visiting him and his family was on my short list of things I wanted to do when I got back home. I thought I had plenty of time. I thought wrong, which is a common mistake in such circumstances. He was a very good man and the world is a little less sane for his passing.

I thought about writing something to express how I felt about my friend but after going to the visitation and seeing what a marvelous job his wife and the other adults were doing to hold it together for the kids, I think I will just not say much. I was ready to weep into a puddle and they, who lost so much and had pain pouring from their pores, were staying strong.  I felt insignificant and very weak.   I hate that.  I am not the one to eulogize that good man, even on a silly blog.  RIP, Doug.

The fear of death tends to rest lightly on young things, as it should.   And sunrise on an Easter morning even lifts the spirits of this old lady.  It encourages me to have faith in the sometimes idle promises of a long life.   

I was pleased with how Jezebel's Quilt went on the bed:
The girls both like it:
That Pearl!
I had high hopes of my making progress while my husband was out of town on my latest project, a dragon quilt.  I didn’t get as much done as I had hoped and am fully aware that I may be biting off more than I can chew.  I bought a book of Dragon patterns (yes, there really are such things – who knew???) and thought these three looked doable for a first attempt at something that complex:
I was very nervous about doing the curves. I settled on the last one, simplified it and worked up a pattern.
Because of my fear of curves, I cut the pattern into smaller sections that it turned out I needed to. The curves turned out to not be as much of a problem as I expected. I haven’t done the head or tail, yet, and am a little intimidated to start.
I think I can make the tail work but the head may be more than I am up to. I am going to attempt to paper piece it but sorta have my doubts about it. If it were bigger, it would be easier.

Husband is not enthusiastic about my choice.  It isn't symetrical.  And what is it good for?

Here is part of the wing.

When I get the edges on the ends of the wings, it will LOOK more like wings but for now, it looks mainly like a blob.
While Husband was out of town, a fairly fierce storm blew up with hail, lightening and high winds. Pearl freaks out fairly easily at loud noises and even Evelyn pressed close and showed some alarm. A friend used to wrap her dog in a snug shirt during thunderstorms and that seemed to help him. With husband out of town (and, accordingly, not on hand to freak out over dressing up the dogs), I put a spandex shirt on Pearl.
I was surprised at how much that seemed to soothe her. She still wanted to hang out under my desk but the mere fact that she allowed me to stand back to take the picture was a vast improvement from just seconds, before.

Here are a few sunrise pictures.

I absolutely love this tree.
I have been spending some time considering whether I want to go back to guardian ad litem work.   I've just about reached the final conclusion that I will not.  I think the thing that makes the difference is that I enjoy not living in the shadows, not having to have an unlisted number, not having to hide my address, not having to watch my back.  All of us have to exercise common prudence because there are bad people, everywhere.  And life holds no guarantees, as starkly illustrated by the sudden death of my young friend.  But the cases most likely to result in violence tend to be those that deal with family matters.   I've known lawyers whose work has brought them into contact with violence, even death, and they are never the same, thereafter.   Like the young, who always believe they will live forever, many of us wade in where angels fear to tread.  But once that innocence is gone, for whatever reason, it is hard to get past.   I enjoy not overly worrying that something I specifically say or do on a given day will draw the wrath of angry, frightened people who feel powerless and are likely to lash out in rage and frustration at a convenient target (me, my dogs or my husband).  At this point, I need to walk away.  And I am glad I am doing it before my fears turn to reality.

Have I mentioned that I have a sweet husband?  He is making a dish to take to family for Easter dinner.  Part of the recipe includes mixed nuts and he just brought me in a bowl full of my favorites that he'd handpicked from the can (brazil nuts, cashews and pecans).    

Happy Easter,

Penny, Evelyn and Pearl


Miriam said...

Happy Birthday Penny!
Happy Easter wishes for you and your family too.
Did you know that the recent full moon was also a "blue moon"?
Condolences to you and Doug's family. 42 to far too young.
Good luck with the dragon!
I'm glad you are taking the time to put lots of thought into the decision about your career.

PS You are not an old lady! :)

Florida Farm Girl said...

Penny, I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's death. That's hard to handle. I'd been wondering what was going on since I hadn't seen you on the quilting board for a while. Came here actually to see if you had posted recently.

During all my years as a legal secretary/assistant, I worked in domestic litigation only 6 months and that was more than enough for me. I don't know how you could handle the GAL program.

I truly love your blog. You and Sherry give me something to look forward to and I usually get a chuckle out of it.

Besides, we COWs (cranky old women) afflicted with CRS (can't remember S**t) syndrome gotta stick together!!!! And we are NOT old,... at least not yet!! And when we DO get old, I'm not gonna admit it anyway!!!

Paula said...

Happy belated birthday. I'm sure the girls spoiled you with kisses, right?
Sorry to hear about your friend. I've been wondering how your friend Kim was doing, as well as the rest of her family. Hope things are going well for them.
Another art quilt already? Wish I was as quick. Your talents never cease, do they? Can't wait to see it.


Penny said...

Thanks, all.

Paula, they lay Doug to rest, today. They had one person after another come forward and say true, wonderful things about him. If you didn't know him, you'd have assumed they were lies. My friend, Kim, was there and she had us all laughing at our memories, she, another friend, Doug and Me were in the same study group through law school. It hit us all hard. He'll be missed.