Sometimes You Need a Scoresheet

He1 and She1 have Child1 and Child2.

He2 and She2 have Child3.

So far, so good.

She2 is a heroin addict and that leads to a breakup between He2 and She2. He2 keeps Child3.

Okay, tragic, but still not too complicated.

She1 leaves He1 and marries He3. They have Child4 and Child5.
Not uncommon.

He2 marries She3 and has Child6.

Also not too uncommon. Bad first marriages so both She1 and He2 try, again.

She3, with She2’s permission, shares custody of her stepchild, Child3.

Now, this starts getting a little unusual. Normally, a stepparent doesn't share custody but He2 is so in love with She3 that he wants her to be more than just a stepmom. And She3 really loves Child3. Plus, She2, the heroin addict, is supportive. So although unusual, at this point it is as functional as you could hope for.

Here is where it starts getting hairy.

She1 leaves He3 and takes Child4 and Child5. So now, she is a two-time loser. With 4kids (Child1, Child2, Child4 and Child5).

She1 moves in with her best friend, She3 (who is married to He2).
Child1, Child2, Child3, Child4, Child5 and Child6 are all living under one roof.

Not really atypical, but now:

He1 and He3 (the two ex's and fathers of Child1, Child2, Child4 and Child5) join forces to try to get their kids back from She1.

He1 manages to regain custody of Child1 and Child2.

So you see what is coming, next?

She1 has an affair with He2. Under She3's roof. She3, recall, is her best friend who took her in along with her four children.

He2 dumps She3 for She1. They move out with Child3, Child4 and Child5.

She3 (the spurned wife), with help from She2 (the heroin addict bio mother of Child3), unsuccessfully attempt to gain custody of Child3.

She1 marries He2.

He2 and He3 take turns being in jail related to fistfights over She1.

She1 and He2 briefly separate when he is caught trying to convince She3 (his former wife) back to bed. (the most stable one of the bunch, She3 laughed in his face and tipped off She1).

She1 is charged with battering Child6 (the child of her latest husband, He2, and former bestfriend, She3).

He2 loses visitation rights of Child6 because he opts to stay with She1.

The latest round is mainly between She1 and He3 over Child4 and Child5.

He1, She1 and She3 are at war with She1 and He2. They are tracking each other via Myspace postings which they have surreptitiously infiltrated under assumed names.

The war is their hobby.

Amazingly, the kids are all doing great.