"On the plains of Oklahoma, with a windshield sunset in your eyes like a watercolor painted sky, you'd think heavens doors have opened."
Fly Over States

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Scene of the Crime

In the midst of Christmas decorating, I came around the corner and walked into a crime scene.

The body of the victim, who appeared to be a reindeer of uncertain gender - perhaps a dwarf - and perhaps a cross dresser - was wedged between the door and the basement stairs. There no obvious marks of trauma on the body. Apparently, I had scared off the killer.

The victim had a grassy bouquet dangling from its hands. The bouquet had a tinkling bell attached.

The bell had gone silent.

The victim was quickly identified as "Rudy," a small, rather stuffy little reindeer with a penchant for wearing festive ribbons.

Rudy always had his hand out. His most treasured possession, however, was the bouquet that never left his hand which contained a melodic jingle bell.

Rudy in happier days:

Grainy surveillance footage revealed a possible shifty-eyed suspect:

Quick detective work substantiated that the individual in the footage, Evelyn, had a previous relationship with the victim that was not always pleasant. There was some suggestion that, at times, Rudy was a bit too familiar and Evelyn didn't like it. What is not disputed is that they frequented the same locations and ran with the same crowd. Informants close to the source report that Evelyn's older sister, Jezebel, attempted to steal Rudy's shoes on numerous occasions:

(footage undated)

(footage undated)

Informants report that Evelyn had a hard time keeping civil when Rudy got too close and tried to act coy. Regardless, there is no report of previous violence.

(footage undated)

Anonymous sources provided evidence that Evelyn always wanted that tinkling bell attached to Rudy's bouquet.

Evelyn has not been named a suspect in a reindeericide (or is it dwarficide?) but she is considered a "person of interest" and cannot leave the yard without a leash.

We are currently awaiting autopsy results to determine if there was foul play, whether Rudy died of health related causes as a result of a completely sedentary life, or whether he was already dead to begin with.

I apologize for the campy blog. I was up half the night doing stuff.


Linda said...

One must amuse oneself, eh? VBG Lurking Linda

Owens Family Adventures said...

hahahahahahaha!! Made me laugh!

Anonymous said...

too too funny!


Stephanie D. said...

Rudy looks a little creepy to me. Evelyn had the right idea.

Nicki Lee said...

You crack me up!!!!!!!! I seriously thought at first it was a little person sneaking into a closet full of Christmas presents. Thanks for the laugh!

Paula said...

I, too, was surprised to find it wasn't a little person. Too funny!!


Infinity Quilter said...

ROFLOL. Too funny. Dear Evelyn, let me know if you need bail money! ;0)

Nancy said...

Oh how funny! I love your sense of humor, and your timing with the camera!

Anonymous said...

Hey Evelyn, remember you're innocent until proven guilty!


Penny said...

Evelyn keeps insisting she is innocent but that even if she isn't, that short legged son of a gun had it coming...

JessicaSews said...

I'm laughing!

Hey...I like the antlers on that little reindeer!

~ Jes

Nancy said...

Does Evelyn know a good lawyer???!!! I was trying to remember if you had mentioned any grandchildren when I saw the first photo!

Anonymous said...

You did advise Evelyn of her Miranda rights, I hope....


Pati said...

I volunteer my services as a defense lawyer to Evelyn!